


Classifying an Eruption

by LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio



Category: Promare (2019)
Genre: Aina and Galo Love it, Are They Gay or Australian?, Arguing, Burning Rescue's Noodle Incidents, Crack, Gueira and Meis are Sickeningly Cute, Ignis' Dark and Mysterious Past, Lio Fotia Isn't Ready to Put up With This, M/M, Spoilers: They're Both!, This Is STUPID, Trans Galo Thymos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26393476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio/pseuds/LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio
Summary: Gueira and Meis are as close as can be, but what exactly are they? Or, Burning Rescue is too collectively stupid to figure out Gueimei.
Relationships: Aina Ardebit & Galo Thymos, Burning Rescue Members & Mad Burnish Members (Promare), Gueira & Meis (Promare), Gueira/Meis (Promare), Lio Fotia/Galo Thymos
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Classifying an Eruption

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read some of my previous Promare stories, then you should know how this will end.

“Haha! Dude, stop!”

“Or what? Ya gonna do somethin’?”

Is the exchange carried out between Gueira and Meis, the latter chasing the former throughout the halls of Burning Rescue for some sort of weird game of tag.

“Got’cha!” Meis cries out triumphantly once he manages to tackle Gueira to the ground, the impact cushioned by the couch Meis lands them on, the two laughing all the way down.

“Shut up,” Gueira says without any real heat, goofy smile spread out onto his face, trying to move Meis’ hair off of where it’s falling onto his face.

“I told you,” Meis teases, “You could never outrun me, bro.” Then, looking slightly concerned, he asks, “Hey, y’alright? Ya not hurtin’ anywhere?”

“Tcch!” Gueira brushes off, shoving the other slightly, “Don’t go treatin’ me like I’m made of glass, ya know what I can take, Meis!”

Poking Gueira’s forehead and chuckling, Meis replies, “I know, I know, you’re a tough ol’ bastard, nothin’ can take you down.”

“Damn straight,” Gueira confirms, squeezing the back of Meis’ head and giving it a scratch.

Watching the scene play out across the room, Aina and Galo stare enraptured with sparkling eyes at the duo.

“I swear,” Aina begins, pressing her and Galo’s cheeks together, “They’re just too cute.”

“Yeah,” Galo agrees clutching her hands with his own, “I love watching them!”

“They’re like two little puppies playing in the yard!”

“Aina! Stop! I can’t handle the dual cuteness!”

“But seriously,” the woman starts, “I’ve never seen guys like them before, boys aren’t usually so touchy with each other.”

“Haah?” Galo utters in confusion, “What’re you talkin’ ‘bout? Me and Lio get like that. …Sometimes.”

“Yeah, but you two are a couple. It’s different when you’re just friends, like Gueira and Meis are.”

…

“What?” Galo asks in a daze.

“What?” Aina replies back in kind.

“Uh, Aina?” Galo begins to clarify, “Gueira and Meis are a _couple.”_

“No they’re not.”

“Uh, YEAH. Those two are _definitely_ a thing.”

“No, they’re just really good friends.”

“Aina, I think I can identify a couple _a little better_ than you, since, y’know, I have a boyfriend!” Galo brags, smirking and pointing to himself.

Eyebrow twitching, Aina meets his challenge with, “Oh? Well I think I understand friendship _a little better_ than you, dum dum!”

“What makes you say that?!” Galo inquires angrily, puffing out his chest.

“How many friends did you have before you started working here?” Aina asks rhetorically.

“…Point made,” Galo concedes, “But I _know_ that they’re dating!”

“No, they’re just really good friends!”

“Dating!”

“Friends!”

“Dating!”

“Friends!”

“If it helps at all,” Lucia cuts in from where she suddenly materialized between the two, causing the both of them to yelp and jump away violently, “I agree with Galo actually, you can’t be _that_ close to another dude and _not_ be sucking his dick.”

“Thank you, Lucia!” Galo says in appreciation, “Also, ew!”

“Don’t get all prissy like you didn’t give Lio a blowjob before work this morning!”

Gasping, face turning red, Galo demands, “How did you know that?!”

“Lio told me.”

“GAAAAHHHH! THAT LITTLE SICKO!”

“Point still stands though,” Lucia continues, ignoring Galo strangling the air, “If you’re that close to a guy, then there’s no way you aren’t taking his dick up your ass.”

“And how many sports anime fics did you need to read to come to that conclusion?” Aina challenges, crossing her arms.

“Look, if they don’t want us to fantasize, stop making the dumb jocks keep talking about their bonds and how they’re the only ones that understand each other! _And stop putting their lips so close together, damn it!”_

“The point is,” Aina pipes back into the conversation, “You can’t base real life off of fanon, Lucia.”

“I’m not gonna pretend I know what any of that meant,” Varys says as he enters the room, “But I am kinda curious what’s got everyone so up in arms.”

“Varys!” Aina turns to the giant man, “What do Gueira and Meis look like to you?”

“Huh?” The man grunts in confusion, “Aren’t they buddies? Pretty sure they call each other ‘Bro’ about twelve times a day.”

“See?!”

“Dude,” Galo cuts in, “I call Lio ‘Bro’ all the time! And guy friends do NOT get that touchy!” He argues, pointing to the two laughing on the couch, Meis pressing his head against Gueira’s while he playfully traps the shorter in a headlock that Gueira retaliates against by tickling Meis’ armpits.

“Man,” Varys says, “If you knew half the stuff guys got into in the locker room after a game, ya wouldn’t be sayin’ that.”

“Hey! I couldn’t talk to anyone in the locker room after gym class, I was pre-op so the other guys had to look the other way. And they were _really_ rude about it!”

“Then try wearing a shirt for more than five minutes,” Remi remarks as he enters from the garage, “What’s everyone going on about now?”

“Gueira,” Lucia says simply, “Meis.”

“What about the lovebirds?” Remi asks unamused.

“See?!” Lucia calls out, “They. Are. GAY!”

“Remi, what the heck?!” Aina demands.

“What ‘friends’ cuddle on the couch?” He questions in retaliation, pointing to the two Burnish doing exactly that.

“Platonic cuddling is a thing!” Aina argues.

“It is?!” Galo calls out in confusion.

“Galo,” Remi begins, “We will deal with your affection deprived childhood later, right now I’m winning an argument.”

“The hell you are!” Varys cuts in, “Sometimes, it’s been a _loooong_ day, and ya need a hug from your bro to know everything’s gonna be okay!”

“It’s the same as hugging your brother!” Aina agrees.

“Sure,” Lucia says sarcastically, “If your name’s, _‘K*RINO!’_ ”

_SMACK!_

“I’m sorry Lucia,” Galo says, pulling his hand back from slapping her, “But you must never reference _that_ anime! _Never!”_

“…I’m sorry.”

“Do I even _want_ to know what’s going on?” The Captain ask as he walks over from where he was working on his car.

“Captain!” Galo pipes up, “Where does the line between friends and boyfriends start?!”

Unamused, Ignis asks back, “…Don’t you think it’s a little late for that?”

“Not for me!” The idiot clarifies, pouting, “Gueira and Meis! What do they seem like to you?”

“Oh,” the older man grunts, “They seem to have a bond that’s as strong as a friendship can get.”

“GAAAHHHH!”

“See?!”

“Really, Captain?! The one time I _want_ your support!”

“Told ya so!”

“Sir, I completely disagree with you!”

“Seriously,” Galo starts, “I know I’m not an expert, but guys don’t nuzzle each other if they’re just friends!”

“Yes they do,” Ignis states bluntly.

“Huh?”

“Look,” their superior begins, “You all need to think of it from their point of view: You’re stuck somewhere where everyone you meet is out to kill you and everyone you’re with, you never know when the next time you’ll have to feel safe is going to come and you feel like there’s only one person in the world you can trust; living like that is going to bring you to a level other friendships just won’t compare to.”

“But, the snuggling-” Remi tries to interject.

“Sometimes you need to _feel_ something.” The Captain cuts him off, “And there’s no one else in the world you trust not to stick a bowie between your shoulder blades like those damn hostesses back in the village.”

“…Huh?”

“He’s the only one who can make you feel like you’re still a human being,” the Captain continues, looking off into the distance, “He’s seen what you can do, and he still lets you caress his side, card your fingers through that thick, soft hair, filled with mud, sweat and the blood of whoever you two saw that day.”

“Captain, what are you talking about?” Aina tries to ask.

“He is the only one who understands you; you don’t make love, you form a brotherhood that holds no secrets, physically and spiritually.”

…

“…What the fuck?” Lucia finally says after a brief silence.

“Sorry,” the Captain says, “Got a little carried away reminiscing.”

“About what?”

“I’m not at liberty to divulge that information.”

“…So,” Aina begins, “ _Where_ do you stand on this, sir?”

“Oh, they’re just friends.”

“Damn it!” Lucia complains, “Looks like it’s a tie!”

“It _wasn’t_ a competition,” Aina tries to tell her.

“Ooh!” Lucia pipes up, ignoring her, “Vinny!” She calls out, said rat scurrying to where she kneels to collect him in her hands. Standing up, she asks, “What do _you_ think Meis and Gueira are?”

“Vinny!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK THEY’RE COUSINS?!”

“Ugggh,” Aina moans, “This is so frustrating!”

“Why don’t we just ask them?” Galo suggests, pointing towards the couch.

“Because that would be rude,” Remi tells him off, “If they don’t want to say anything, then they don’t have to.”

Sighing, Varys mutters, “Wish we had someone else we could ask…”

That moment was when Lio decided to walk in from the closet.

“Is something the matter?” He asks, noticing the group assembled conspiratorially.

“Lio!” Galo calls out excited as he, Lucia and Varys rush over to him…

And receive an uppercut knocking the three to the ground at once.

“…”

“I was startled.” Lio stoically justifies.

“Ow…”

“Could you explain something to us,” Remi asks the smaller male, “before this turns into another cloud shape debate? We’re still paying off the lawyer.”

“Excuse me?”

“The clown,” Lucia says as she tries to get back onto her feet, dizzy, “Was not brought here of my doing, so I’m not responsible for Galo’s missing kidney.”

“…What?”

“I’m just glad we got it back in time,” Aina remarks, “Galo’s weird when he’s all hopped up on painkillers.”

“…I don’t believe I wish to know about what you are speaking of.”

“Smart boy,” the Captain praises.

“Lio,” Galo says as he gets to his feet, bending slightly and clasping his partner’s hands with his, “What exactly are Gueira and Meis?”

“Huh?”

“Are they dating or not?” The larger presses, growing impatient.

“What are you talking about?” The smaller asks in confusion, “Gueira and Meis aren’t dating.”

“What?” Galo says, pouting.

“Damn it!” Lucia calls out.

“In your face!” Aina calls triumphantly, “They’re just friends, told ya so!”

“SHUT UP!”

“Excuse me?” Lio pipes up, “Wherever did you get that idea, Ardebit?”

…

“Huh?” Said girl gets out, pausing in her gloating, “You…You just said they weren’t dating.”

“And they are not.”

“But…what?”

“There’s no reason for them to be dating, they’re past that.”

“…Lio, what the hell?!” Varys demands, “What are they then?!”

Blinking, Lio answers bluntly, “Gueira and Meis are married.”

…

_“WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!!”_

“I thought it was quite obvious,” the petit male continues, “Only married couples kiss each other like that,” he supports his point, gesturing to the couch where his generals are caught up in a very heated make out session that appears to be transitioning into foreplay the rest of the group was too busy arguing to notice.

“Oh, no, quit that!” Remi scolds as he makes his way over, “That is NOT allowed you two, break it up!” He demands as he separates them before Meis can finish unbuttoning Gueira’s pants.

“C’mon,” the lanky man starts, “Don’t be a joykill!”

“Yeah,” Gueira agrees, “Meisies is just too cute when he chases me down, I can’t help it!”

“Aw, bro…” Meis coos.

“Dude…” Gueira responds, pressing their noses together.

Groaning, Lio starts, “And that is why I left for the closet."

Blinking, Aina asks, "Why the closet?"

"Because those two have clearly haven't been in one for years."

"..."

"...Oh!" Galo pipes up, "Then do they need to see it and see where we put stuff?"

"I could've sworn we covered that," Aina muses.

"No, I-" Lio tries to interject.

"It won't take long," the Captain says over him, walking off with Lucia and Varys in tow, "We'll do at the end of their shift."

"Got'cha!" Galo says, "Thanks for the tip, Lio!"

"..."

"Well, we got them labeled,” Aina starts.

“Yup,” Galo agrees.

“…Wanna watch them give each other nose kisses?”

“Oh yeah!” And with that, they walk off to the two on the couch.

...

"I spent all night working on that joke." Lio says to the air.

"Meisies..." He hears Gueira coo.

"Yes, darlin'?" Meis responds in kind, nuzzling against the other.

"...I am going to go vomit now." Lio says, heading off towards the bathroom.


End file.
